.....the blog of drew.....

I love Body Double. There, I said it. Whew. I feel like a...

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:50:00 -0800

I love Body Double. There, I said it. Whew. I feel like a gigantic weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

"Luiz Guzman is in Ghost."

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:29:54 -0800

“Luiz Guzman is in Ghost.”

- Abed being wrong about Luiz Guzman being in Ghost.

"Your Tumblr conversations are ruining my dashboard."

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:45:11 -0800

“Your Tumblr conversations are ruining my dashboard.”

- Me

Preview of the most retarded 30 seconds ever filmed. Come to the...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 13:39:00 -0800

Preview of the most retarded 30 seconds ever filmed.

Come to the Channy Awards. Cinespace. 3:30. See some funny videos. Drink some alcoholic drinks. Get stuck in a 30 minute conversation with Jason Whetzell about clay.

Just saw The Lovely Bones and then had a burrito from Yuca’s. One was satisfying and the...

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 18:09:36 -0800

Just saw The Lovely Bones and then had a burrito from Yuca’s. One was satisfying and the other was a steaming piece of dog shit directed by Peter Jackson. I bet you can’t guess which is which!

I’m not one for reblogging fail blog videos, but this is...

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 11:37:00 -0800

I’m not one for reblogging fail blog videos, but this is too great. It’s a perfect, three act story.

"Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get… Really though,..."

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 10:40:12 -0800

“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get… Really though, you know it’s going to be sugary, have a chocolate shell and either be soft or chewy. I mean, let’s face it, there really isn’t that much variation in life. You’re born, you learn to walk, you pretend to like the Spin Doctors in middle school, you get married and then you die. But what do I know? I’m just a retarded person waiting for a bus to take me to my old girlfriend, who may or may not have AIDS. Oh my god. I had sex with her. See what happens when you live an untraditional, variety-filled life? You end up biting into a piece of chocolate with a nice nougaty AIDS filling.”

- Forrest Gump

"If there was no tumblarity, would I still be posting this?"

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:48:19 -0800

“If there was no tumblarity, would I still be posting this?”

- Buddha

"I’m the only reason Jason Whetzell is popular."

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 16:07:32 -0800

“I’m the only reason Jason Whetzell is popular.”

- Charles Bukowski

Blue Mountain State billboard in Times Square. It has begun.

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:36:12 -0800

Blue Mountain State billboard in Times Square. It has begun.

I spend so much time online reading blogs that celebrate people...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:52:56 -0800

I spend so much time online reading blogs that celebrate people failing or make fun of the shitty art people make or post pictures of ugly people shopping at department stores, it leaves me with this cynical, horrible feeling inside.

It’s great to be reminded that there are still things on the internet that can make me feel good.

"You can hide behind that flashy Don Draper suit, but deep down inside you’ll always be..."

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:57:19 -0800

“You can hide behind that flashy Don Draper suit, but deep down inside you’ll always be pathetic little Dick Whitman.”

- How my mom ends all of our phone conversations.

kelsyabbott: Eric Acosta made this for Rob Schrab’s 40th...

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 15:19:10 -0800

kelsyabbott:

Eric Acosta made this for Rob Schrab’s 40th birthday party. Wtih Drew Hancock, Wade Randolph, and Danny Jelinek. my friends are so awesome and funny.

Danny’s line reading at the end kills me every time. Also, this was all Eric and Danny. Wade and I just showed up and did terrible impressions of our friends.

First, I’m going to get really motherfucking high. Second, I’m going to watch...

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:42:31 -0800

First, I’m going to get really motherfucking high. Second, I’m going to watch motherfucking 2012. Third, there’s not a god damn thing any motherfucking person can motherfucking do about it.*

*I’m really sorry for being so aggressive. I’m just really excited. Motherfuck.

A Conversation Between Me and My Tumblarity

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:41:09 -0800

Me: I don’t care about you.

My Tumblarity: Good.

Me: What’s that supposed to mean?

My Tumblarity: Well, if you did care, you’d be really embarrassed. So it’s good that you don’t.

Me: What are you saying that you’re low?

My Tumblarity: Let me put it this way: fuckyeahwindshields is ranked higher than me.

I take a final drag off my cigarette, roll over in bed.

Me: Well, I told you. I don’t care.

My Tumblarity: Yeah. Sure. I’ve heard that one before.

Me: What do you want me to do, post pictures of pastrami sandwiches?! Would that make you happy?!

My Tumblarity: Hey, Dave Seger was commenting on how people should appreciate the smaller things in life! It was poignant!

Me: You’re right. I’m sorry. I overreacted.

I turn to face my Tumblarity. I pull its face closer to mine.

Me: Kiss me.

My Tumblarity: Promise to reblog more?

Me: But you know my stance on reblogging!

My Tumblarity: But it’s such a simple way to generate notes.

Me: Fine. I’ll put up that video of the woman shitting in the hot tub.

My Tumblarity: Oh baby! You really do care about me!

Me: Yes. Now shut up and fuck me.

Hours of passionate love making ensue.

In the face of death, people are capable of extreme actions. That was just a part of human nature...

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:22:00 -0800

In the face of death, people are capable of extreme actions. That was just a part of human nature and Ted hoped that the world would understand what he did. It was just so cold. No, it was beyond cold; it was freezing. The kind of temperature only mountain climbers who have stood on the top of Everest could fathom. Was it any wonder that Ted did what he did? ”No,” Ted thought to himself, “I had no other choice.” Anyone in his position would have done the same. Death was barreling towards him and in an instant he had made a decision. It was either die a miserable, frozen death or slice his best friend’s belly open and hide inside. Was it the right choice? Well, that wasn’t really relevant at this moment. For now, all Ted could do was wait. Wait, and hope that this David Letterman show taping would end a little early.

I know it LOOKS like a gay spaceman Chris Brown spray painting...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:26:44 -0800

I know it LOOKS like a gay spaceman Chris Brown spray painting graffiti with his silver 80’s robot arm while the bad guys from Space Jam mug at the camera, but what it SAYS is, “America, I’m sorry I beat the shit out of my girlfriend.”

Chris Brown, apology accepted.

I bought a camera that shoots HD! Here’s a test video I...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:38:00 -0800

I bought a camera that shoots HD! Here’s a test video I shot with it! It’s nothing special, but I’m excited I have a new camera that shoots HD! Here’s another exclamation point!

If you’re delirious from a cold or the flu, this video is...

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:59:00 -0800

If you’re delirious from a cold or the flu, this video is fascinating. I’ve watched it over 300 times today.

Photo #2 in a series I call: It’s 3am, I’m Sick, I Can’t Sleep,...

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 03:59:45 -0800

Photo #2 in a series I call: It’s 3am, I’m Sick, I Can’t Sleep, So I Might As Well Take Photos of Scary Things.